Immediate skin-to-skin contact. Our Lamaze teacher stressed this time and time again as the best way to welcome a new baby into the world to give him or her the best chance for adjusting well and bonding with the mother. Her arguments led everyone in the room to wonder if society’s ills might be the result of past practices to slap a baby at birth to wake it out of its pain-med haze and then whisk it off to an incubator in the nursery, causing it to feel alone in a mechanical sea of chaos.
Then she showed us the comparison videos. Brand-newborns left to their own devices immediately after birth. At birth, babies that haven’t been subject to drugs go through a two hour phase of hyper alertness. We watched the drugged babies slug around while the non-drugged babies climbed and rooted and sniffed their way up the abdomen to nipple city for that all important first feed. You could see how this could be important in nature, if mother is alone and exhausted, baby can fend for itself at least this first time.
So we added this into our “birth plan.” Of course at the top, we stated that we desired “whatever is best for health and safety of mother and child.” Then we added the bit about immediate skin-to-skin contact being a priority. The Lamaze teacher encouraged us to make the birth our own, adding in whatever we wished, right up to chanters in the birth room. We opted for those things that would within reason make the birth seem as “natural” as possible; low lights, soft voices, quiet music, and delaying all necessary hospital procedures until after the first nursing.
At our prenatal check-ups, we showed the birth plan to both of the doctors who would possibly be attending the birth. We watched intently as they read silently. We asked if everything seemed reasonable, and they quietly agreed. A little too quietly for our tastes, but they’re professionals.
When we got to the birth center once labor had started, we showed the birth plan to a nurse or two while we still had our wits about us. One nurse noted that they will need to put some drops in the baby’s eyes when she comes, and we told her we were aware that needed to be done within the first hour of life, and we would like that done in the last minute of that hour if possible.
I’ll stop here and note that we don’t take any exception to how the birth was conducted at all, and all the staff were very professional and helpful. Birth of a first child is naturally a time when the parents are hypersensitive, and I’m offering our experience to help prep some of our friends that are on their way into this remarkable event. Even the Lamaze teacher cautioned us not to get too attached to our birth plans, because the only certainty is that the birth will not go 100% as planned.
I wrote before how our major deviation from the plan was that labor progressed so quickly for Ari that there was no time for any epidural, let alone the low-dose “walking” epidural that we requested so that hopefully its effects would be trailing off right as baby arrived.
Some of the deviations from the birth plan were only really noticed once the event was over. I never had a chance to get the little stereo that we had brought along to play soothing music set up in the room. Good thing we didn’t spend too much time creating a special playlist, because she most certainly wouldn’t have heard it through all of the breathing coaching that was happening. Likewise for the calming focal points and photos we left in the truck.
We had asked in the plan that personnel in the room be kept to a minimum. This became a moot point when I realized somehow from one of her comments that one of the five attendants that was standing next to me bedside in full scrubs was relatively green to this sort of situation. She had most likely been called in as extra hands in case the baby came before the doctor arrived. Ari probably had a 24 inch range of focus at that point and was just glad to see so many folks there to help her out.
When the doctor did arrive, soft lighting was not a concern. Two flood lights shone down from the ceiling to illuminate the arrival. Ari’s eyes were shielded somewhat by the curtain her gown was making around her abdomen.
Immediate skin-to-skin contact. When the baby emerged, of course she came right up to Ari’s chest. The nurses wiped away as much gook from the baby’s face as possible, but I think it was helpful that the gown was still covering most of Ari’s chest so she wouldn’t be completely slimed. There was some bonding happening with Ayla between the nurses sucking amniotic fluid out of her mouth. It was amazing of course to see her take her first breath of air, and to watch her appearance become more human as her skin turned from gray to blue to purple and slowly to pink.
The cuddling at the chest provided the perfect diversion for the doctor to finish her duties down below. As soon as she had gotten the most critical items taken care of, it was time for me to snip the cord. And soon after the cord was cut, the baby had to be taken away for “just a few minutes” to do some routine medical checks. This happened before there was any chance to nurse. Of course I followed along with baby to the warming lamp.
They say your heart melts the second you see your little one, but for me, it happened at the warming lamp table. While she was in the womb, I read a story or two to Ayla, sang her a couple songs (over mom’s silent belly laughter) and spoke to her now and again. We didn’t go overboard broadcasting my voice into the womb. But as soon as she was laid on the table, I told her “Ayla, Daddy’s here, everything will be okay.” Her eyes bolted open and her arms shot out towards me in full hug mode. I could have cried, I maybe did. I just held her hand and spoke her through it, while the nurse did every single little thing that had to be done to a newborn.
Suction tubes down the throat, a shot of vitamin K (which surprisingly didn’t make her cry), then a little gentle roughing up to make sure she did cry, and even the eye drops. I was getting a little agitated with how long this was taking, and engaged in a little circumvent diplomacy with the nurse via the baby, saying “It’s okay Ayla, we’re going to get to back to mommy in just a few seconds.” To which the nurse replied, “Oh sweetie, this mean old nurse just needs to finish your APGAR test, weigh and measure you, and give you a bath, and then you can go back to mommy.”
I estimated the time away from Ari for the baby at about 40 minutes; it seemed like it took forever. But looking back at her feeding log, her first nursing occurred at 1:45am. Considering she was born at 1:14am, this seems really reasonable. And the nurses were really good about helping Ari get started with the nursing.
Although some of the nurses had read and understood our desire to have the baby feed as soon as possible, it became apparent that their charge was to get their duties out of the way first. If you step back, this makes sense, because there is no need to take the baby away from mother once the nursing bond starts.
The main thing is that one of us got to be with her at all times. It was so nice to have her respond to my voice, and for the rest of the night I was able to calm her right way. We did get the stereo in the room and quietly listened to slack key guitar until dawn.
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